Books Gladly Recommended: The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes

I've found a terrific ebook online, one which doesn't only provide many laughs, but educates as well, in a way. I gladly recommend E. Henry Tripshaw's book to you all, however I feel that this will amuse my male students much more than the girls. A piece of advice: never read more than 4-5 jokes in one go: some are really sarcastic! :) 


Here are a few of the elements that I especially liked:





Two aliens land in the mid-west of America near an abandoned gas station.
They approach one of  the gas pumps and one of  the aliens says,  “Greetings, Earthling. We
come in peace. Take us to your leader.”
The alien repeats the greeting, to no avail. Annoyed by what he perceives to be the gas pump’s
bad manners, he produces his ray gun and says, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. T ake
us to your leader, or I ’ll fire!”
The other alien interrupts and urges his comrade, “No, don’t shoot, you don’t want to make him
mad!” But before he can finish his warning, the first alien fires. There is a huge explosion and both
aliens are blasted 200 metres into the air.
When they finally regain consciousness, the first alien says, “The Earthling is truly a formidable
creature – he nearly killed us both! How did you know he was so dangerous?”
The other alien replies, “My friend, if there’s one thing I ’ve learned during my travels through the
galaxy, it is that anyone who can wrap his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his own
ear is someone you shouldn’t fuck with.”



*


A woman goes to her doctor with a swollen abdomen. The doctor examines her and says: “How’s your appetite?” “I’m eating well, thanks doctor.” “Well, that’s only natural . . . now that you are eating for two,” replied the doctor. The woman was overjoyed. “Me and my baby?” “No – you and your fast-growing tumour.”


*


A sadist, a masochist, a psychopath, a necrophiliac, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution. “How about having sex with a cat?” says the zoophile. “Let’s have sex with the cat and then torture it,” says the sadist. “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it,” shouts the psychopath. “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again,” says the necrophiliac. “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it,” says the pyromaniac.
Everyone turns to the masochist and asked: “So, what’s it going to be?” The masochist replies, “Miaow.”


*


Shortly before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. “How old was your husband? “ he asked. “He was ninety-eight,” she sobbed. “Two years older than I am.” “Really?” the undertaker said. “Hardly worth going home, is it?”


To obtain the book follow the link below! 
http://www.filesonic.com/file/77647361/E.HTTMBoTJ.rar